As a warning to why you should be wary of Google translate and the like, I’ve just come across an excellent list of funny translations on Jana Garnsworthy’s Czech-English translator site. I reproduce them here with full acknowledgement of Jana’s source. Enjoy!
Bucharest hotel lobby: “The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.”
Roman doctor’s office: ”Specialist in women and other diseases.”
Bangkok temple: “It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner dressed as a man.”
Brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: “When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.”
Japanese hotel room: “You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.”
Paris hotel elevator: “Please leave your values at the front desk.”
Tokyo hotel: “It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not read this notice.”
Leipzig elevator: “Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.”
Athens hotel: “Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am daily.”
Belgrade elevator: “To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving then going alphabetically in national order.”
Sarajevo hotel: “The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.”
Moscow hotel: “You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.”
Swiss menu: “Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.”
Hong Kong tailor shop: “Ladies may have a fit upstairs.”
Bangkok dry cleaners: ”Drop your trousers here for best results.”
Paris dress shop: “Dresses for street walking.”
Rhodes tailor shop: “Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.”
Hong Kong advert: “Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.”
Rome laundry: “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.”
Swiss mountain inn: “Special today… no ice cream.”
Copenhagen airline: “We take your bags and send them in all directions.”
Moscow hotel: “If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.”
Norwegian lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”
Tokyo shop: “Our nylons cost more than common but they are better for the long run.”
Acapulco hotel: “The manager has personally passed all the water served here.”